E-text prepared by Steven desJardins
and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
Although men flatter themselves with their great actions,they are not so often the result of great design as ofchance.—LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.
"He says he killed him, and that's all there is about it!" said Tutt toMr. Tutt. "What are you going to do with a fellow like that?" The juniorpartner of the celebrated firm of Tutt & Tutt, attorneys and counselorsat law, thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his yellow checkedbreeches and, balancing himself upon the heels of his patent-leatherboots, gazed in a distressed, respectfully inquiring manner at hisdistinguished associate.
"Yes," he repeated plaintively. "He don't make any bones about it atall. 'Sure, I killed him!' says he. 'And I'd kill him again, the ——!'I prefer not to quote his exact language. I've just come from the Tombsand had quite a talk with Serafino in the counsel room, with agum-chewing keeper sitting in the corner watching me for fear I'd sliphis prisoner a saw file or a shotgun or a barrel of poison. I'm all in!These murder cases drive me to drink, Mr. Tutt. I don't mind grandlarceny, forgery, assault or even manslaughter—but murder gets my goat!And when you have a crazy Italian for a client who says he's glad he didit and would like to do it again—please excuse me! It isn't law; it'ssuicide!"
He drew out a silk handkerchief ornamented with the colors of theAllies, and wiped his forehead despairingly.
"Oh," remarked Mr. Tutt with entire good nature. "He's glad he did itand he's quite willing to be hanged!"
"That's it in a nutshell!" replied Tutt.
The senior partner of Tutt & Tutt ran his bony fingers through the lankgray locks over his left eye and tilted ceilingward the stogy betweenhis thin lips. Then he leaned back in his antique swivel chair, lockedhis hands behind his head, elevated his long legs luxuriously, andcrossed his feet upon the fourth volume of the American and EnglishEncyclopedia of Law, which lay open upon the desk at Champerty andMaintenance. Even in this inelegant and relaxed posture he somehowmanaged to maintain the air of picturesque dignity which always made histall, ungainly figure noticeable in any courtroom. Indubitably Mr.Ephraim Tutt suggested a past generation, the suggestion beingaccentuated by a slight pedantry of diction a trifle out of characterwith the rushing age in which he saw fit to practise his time-honoredprofession. "Cheer up, Tutt," said he, pushing a box of stogies towardhis partner with the toe of his congress boot. "Have a weed?"
Since in the office of Tutt & Tutt such an invitation like those ofroyalty, was equivalent to a command, Tutt acquiesced.
"Thank you, Mr. Tutt," said Tutt, looking about vaguely for a match.
"That