A new industry blossomed when U.S. Robot
Company put their perfected models on the market.
Perfected? Nobody had considered the one defect!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
December 1955
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
"Good morning, madam," Ira said. "I represent...."
"We don't want any," said the women, easing the door shut.
With the time tested finesse of door-to-door salesmen, Ira slipped hissize twelve shoe between the swinging door and the jamb. "But madam, ifyou'll give me a few minutes of your time...."
The woman shook her head. "It won't do you any good," she said, tryingto squeeze the door shut over his foot. "Whatever it is, we don't wantany."
"I represent U.S. Robot Company," Ira persisted. He smiled pleasantly.His unyielding foot maintained a six inch wide avenue of communicationbetween himself and the woman in the house. "Long the leader incommercial and industrial mechanicals, U.S. Robot is now introducinga new line of home servants, designed to assist the housewife in everypossible task about the house."
"You're wasting your time," the woman said wearily.
Ira used his professional smile to indicate that he enjoyed wasting histime. "When you've seen the demonstration," he said, "I'm sure you'llagree that no home should be without a Model I household robot."
The woman looked out at him silently, patiently, resigned. She waspretty and petite and very young; and, from her appearance, had neverdone a day's work in her life. A typical newlywed, Ira thought. Aperfect prospect, he decided.
"As you undoubtedly know, the outstanding characteristics of U.S.Robot mechanicals have always been ability, durability and reliability.Their performance in industry has earned for the United States RobotCompany the enviable reputation it is proud to possess: 'Leader in theart, artist of the trade—if it's U.S. Robot, it's perfect!'"
The woman smiled and allowed the door to swing open slightly. "Whatabout Amalgamated Androids?" she asked. "I understand they've got somepretty good models, too."
"Well," Ira admitted, "some of their models are pretty good; adequate,perhaps. But why take anything but the best? And, of course, ourrobots...."
"I've seen some AA models that are perfect," the woman said. Asuggestion of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "How can yoursbe any better than perfect?"
Ira's voice took on a confidential complexion. "Some of their modelsare beautiful," he conceded. "And they may seem to work well whenthey're new. But they're not built to last, like ours. Why...."
"I think," the woman tried to interrupt, "that some of...."
"How can you compare them to U.S. Robot?" Ira ran on. "We have hadforty-seven years of experience in producing mechanicals for the mostdifficult jobs imaginable. Amalgamated Androids while producing anadequate household model, does not have the valuable know-how to buildinto their mechanicals the strength and quality that is taken forgranted in every machine bearing the U.S. Robot label."
The woman was skeptical. "Maybe your company does make the best factoryhands," she argued, "but household robots must be esthetic as well asrugged. And Amalgamated Androids are specialists in building humanoidrobots, while your company...."
"But, madam," Ira said, grinning. "Our household models are perfectlyhuman in appearance—I should say, imperfectly human because we evengive them tiny blemishes to make them seem more natural."
The wom