NO-RISK PLANET
By Milton Lesser
Sam had sold life insurance to every race
in the galaxy. But on Halcyon he found a people
who not only didn't want it—but didn't need it!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
March 1955
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Interstellar Hotel
Halcyon City
Halcyon
Mr. Herman Spottsworth
Interstellar Division
Terran Insurance Co.
Baltimore, Md., Earth
Dear Boss:
The natives got a big kick out of it when I told them what the name oftheir planet means in English. It means peaceful. From what I couldgather, the first Terran to land here fifty years ago was so impressedwith the balmy climate and pleasant rolling terrain and almost tidelessoceans that he named the planet Halcyon. The only catch is, the nativeshave all the food they want and all the natural resources and justabout everything. So, they have nothing to keep them occupied exceptfighting wars. They haven't been able to string three peaceful yearstogether since the beginning of recorded history here, two thousandyears ago. It's kind of like a game with them.
That being the case, I ought to establish a new record for theInterstellar Division. I've got to sign off now because the air-raidbell just rang. Regards to Joanie.
Cordially,
Sammy Trumple
Interstellar DivisionTerran Insurance Co.
Baltimore, Md., Earth
Mr. Sammy Trumple
Halcyon City
Halcyon
Dear Sammy:
Glad to see you've arrived O.K. and are so impressed with the salespotential there. Remember the motto of the Interstellar Division: IFYOU CAN PLANET-FALL, YOU CAN SELL....
Yours in sales,
Herman Spottsworth
P.S. Regards from Joanie.
Interstellar Hotel
Halcyon City
Halcyon
Mr. Herman Spottsworth
Etc.
Dear Boss:
That air-raid was murder! You'd better double my own life insurancepolicy. Take the premiums out of my salary, please. Incidentally, yourletter almost got lost because you forgot to include "InterstellarHotel" in the address. It's a fifty-room fleabag, boss, but they gotpride. Please take good care of Joanie.
Cordially,
Sammy Trumple
Interstellar Division
Terran Insurance Co.
Baltimore, Md., Earth
Dear Sammy:
You've been on Halcyon three weeks now. How come you wrote up nopolicies yet? You aren't taking the sights in like a tourist, areyou—on a Terran expense account?
Yours in sales,
Herman Spottsworth.
143-1/4 East Scjulak Street
Halcyon City
Halcyon
Dear Boss:
Please note the new address. The Interstellar Hotel was blown to bitsin the last air-raid. I'm scared, boss. There are air-raids around theclock, with Halcyonians dropping off like flies.
And that answers your question, incidentally. There are no tourists onHalcyon. It's too dangerous. Better quadruple my own life insurancepolicy. And tell Joan I love her.
Frantically,
Sammy Trumple
Interstellar Division
Terran Insurance Co.
Baltimore, Md., Earth
Dear Sammy:
I've quadrupled your policy. I'm taking care of Joanie. I'm awaitingyour first sale.
Spottsworth
143-1/4 East Scjulak Street
Halcyon City
H